This year has been especially meaningful and fulfilling. No, don't get me wrong, I did not do that much CIP work though it was certainly much more than in previous years. What I meant was that I have learnt many valuable and unforgettable lessons which make me a better person with each passing day, both mentally and physically. I know I can now always seek comfort in the fact that you will always be out there watching out for me, like an angel would. I know that somewhere out there, there is always someone bound to care for me. Thank you so much, for being a source of inspiration for me especially in times of need. I know now that life is actually that meaningful and fun, not what I used to thought. I know my family care for me , my friends care for me and many in the world actually care for me. Thank you for showing me the right way out of this tunnel I have always live in. Forgive me not for I have certainly become much naughtier this year, but come on, this is expected right? As you might say, as we grow, as we change. We can't possibly be the same forever. All the stones, hard and big, small and smooth in life, shape us in whatever possible ways. I am now writing to you, as a matured lady of 13. I know there are many more in the world who are in a state much worse than me. I know we all have a path planned for us, what that has happened definitely can be reversible. What that will happen to us will happen to us. We can't control fate. But we can certainly change the way we treat people, as we try to be much more understanding and help in whatever ways we can. I have learnt not to have too high an expectation as in the end, you would be the one feeling upset when what you have thought out turns out to be untrue, not happening in real life . Hence, I vow to be a better person, both mentally and physically starting from today. Yes, I would change what I should change and keep what I should keep. This is me right Santa? I would treasure life as you would have liked everyone to do so. So this coming year, you would see the change in me, I hope. But that takes time Santa. You can't expect me to change overnight right Santa? Once again, thank you Santa for being a source of inspiration and comfort especially when I needed in the most. I love you .

Yours Truly,

this girl who knows she will be better,

Cindy =D

P.S Merry Christmas! (Belated =P)

Thanks Santa, I know you will answer 'em right?

Or maybe you will tell me you are in control of your life, I can do what I can do but some, you have to do it.

Thanks Santa. =D

Today, I went to collect the keys for my new house!

Man, the house was bigger than we expected. =D

And the view from my room was awesome.

And.... it was just simply gorgeous.

The living room is big but sadly, with Dad's buddha statues and everything, guess it is gonna be smaller. Actually, I hate his keeping so many of them. It just isn't modern. And it makes the place smaller. If he were to bring a few, that would be okay I guessed. But, unfortunately, that's so not gonna happen. =(

Anyway, can't wait to clean it up and move in=DDD

Thank you so much to the elderly at Peace Connect.

They certainly did brightened up my life and make my life much more fulfilling and meaningful. The smiles on their faces lit me up instantly and I could not stop smiling there. I haven't smiled for so long for a so long time. And this time round, from the bottom of my heart was happiness bursting out of me. Thank you so much for making me happy. I enjoyed yesterday's time with you guys a lot. Just like how I had enjoyed being with the kids at Peace Connect. Thank you. I have not felt this type of true happiness for a while.

I am so gonna volunteer again next time =D

Why do they always have to keep postponing the date for key collection?

First, it was 16 december or 17 december, then it was 21 december, finally, the confirmed 100% date is 24 december.

Postponed by 8 days from 16 December.

Imagine my disappointment.

That date means school's going to reopen.

Drat.

Rats.

So which means we can most probably move in late december or early January.

Rats.

So late.

Well, guess there's no choice lamenting now that it is final.

On the other hand, perhaps it is a good thing after all.

Anyway, the constructors are still working on several parts of the site.

so we won't really have to put up with the dust and noise.

Anyway, I aren't looking forward to 24.12.09

Heck, that means school's going to reopen.

I once asked this question in my blog.

Finally, I have the answer.

I live for myself. I live cause I have to live for myself. Not for anyone. At all.

I realised how I would end up being the unhappy person if I keep changing or just pretending to be someone who just aren't me. This is just not me. I am putting on a facade just to make others accept me, to make them happy, at the end of the day, I aren't happy. I don't want to lead this kind of life. This kind of life is without purpose, without meaning, and just simply nonsensical. Rubbish. Absurd.

This is me.

I want to be the true me.

I read in a magazine, if you keep putting on a facade just to make others be happy and accept you, you will never be happy and in the end when they find out you are just putting a facade, they will lose their trust in you. Hence, I want the real me to come out. Enough. Enough of pretending. Sure, I will change bad habits which are really unacceptable. I will change certain character traits like insensitiveness. But, I won't change who I really am. Everyone of us is unique. Why should I change just so that I can be a perfect that person in everyone's eyes?

Two more weeks and school's going to reopen.

=( x(

Can you believe it?

2 more weeks only.

Frankly speaking, I don't want that to happen.

Gone will be the days when I used to watch television till late at night, when I used to go shopping, when I used to have a carefree, wonderful life.

How time flies.

And I will have to wait up early again =(

And school's kind of boring to me.

Mundane, boring...

Never mind.

This time, I promised myself that I will pay more attention in class. Maybe that will kill the boredom in me? I certainly hope so.

I decided to delete all my previous posts as some of them kind of created a sad atmosphere whenever I read them. Besides, I said I wanted to move on and lead a new life. I have been thinking about my life for a long, long time. I decided not to bottle up my feelings. I guess those drama serials and too much television as well as personal experiences have made me come to this decision. Like certain feelings, especially emotional ones, if you suppress them, over time, the wound in your heart goes even deeper and before you even realised it, the wound has sunk deep enough for you to lead a sad and moody life. Heck. I thought I should not burden others with my own problems but then I realised that it was wiser to tell them my problems. After all, keeping them to myself would do me no good and it may lead to drastic consequences which I definitely hate to imagine. So there, I learnt, a true friend is one who

listens to your woes and happiness attentively whenever you need a listening ear

who never shrugs off your problems just like that

who cares for you

who always is there to help you

who is sensitive and understands you well

who is someone who accepts you for who you are and gives you comments to help you improve,

who is optimistic towards life and is matured.

Hmm... that sounds like what I have in mind of a true friend. Someone, who would come to be one of my best friends.

I had several friends like that.

Kimberly, Jing Yi...

Come to think of it, I am fortunate and blessed to have them as true friends.

Jing Yi, I have not contacted her for some time now since we went separate ways to separate schools. i am thinking of ways to contact her.

Kimberly, hah, I am still in touch with her.

Know what? I prefer my primary school friends to my secondary school friends. I guessed that is cause of several upsetting incidents this year which led to this. Also, I am new in my secondary school. No wonder they say the old friends can never replace the new friends. Anyway, it is unhealthy to keep thinking of your primary school friends without letting go. Hence, I shall be happier in my secondary school, with true friends. I am positive I can if I believe I can. At least, I have to try.