Saturday, May 8, 2010

NEW BLOGSITE

I want to change
so obviously i want a new blog
so i am going to dump this emo blog for another blog =D
so relink horh.
http://www.upforeverandalways.blogspot.com/
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
guess this is the last time i will be posting on this blog
unless somethingcrops up
aiya i dun know lah
see first
see whether ben xiao jie wants to post on this blog =D
man, this is my fourth post!
IHEARTEDS!

Posted by The other Eden at 10:57 PM

LALALALALA

I WILL
i will change
lala
and enjoy every minute, every second of life,
cherish those around me,
treat them well,
treat them like friends, really true friends,
and just enjoy the remainder 4 years plus of my dunman life because man, i can't believe i only have 4 years plus left in dunman,
so fast lah
i dun want to leave dunman with sad memories,
only or mostly HAPPY MEMORIES!
lalalalallalalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallallalalaloalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
i will learn,
change,
ihearteds!
IHEARTEDS!
IHEARTEDS!
LALALALALALALALALALALALA
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE 3 LONG POSTS TODAY IN LIKEDUNNOE HOW MANY MINUTES =D

Posted by The other Eden at 10:54 PM

IHEARTEDS

EDS NIGHT WAS AWESOME.
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY X100000000000000000000
AWESOME!
HAH!
EDS ROCKS!
ROCKS!
ROCKS!
YAY!
Man, the performances were dazzling.
Drama rocks, so does Dance.
Man, I can't wait to join Drama!
Hope it would be soon. =D
Hah.
EDS night was fun with clarissa and peeps around.
And evil clare was laughing and yawning at my EDS drama.
TSK!
LOLS.
wait till I perform =D
Surely awesome derh =D
cause I apparently rock =D
And reset rocks.
And I really felt so happy today on the bus listening to music, so long haven't have that feeling liao, the feeling of no burden, so sweet,
finally understood why you have to start with the end in mind,
because the end is always so sweeeet.
and i enjoyed every minutes, every second, every minute of today.
So a big thanks to everyone who made it possible.
cause eds night really shook the hell out of me.
it was pure awesome.
and the MCs were damn funny
and the eds drama was damn funny
and the eds dance was damn stylish and wow!
Which made me await a new future in EDS drama.
Hope it succeeds,
even if it don't at least i tried,
cause i suddenly today realised that one must have the courage to pursue one's dreams without fears or setbacks.
i regret not joining eds drama in the first place,
perhaps the outcome might have been very different,
perhaps i might have been performing tonight.
but then well,
life is unpredictable, oone choice lead to consequences, a different choice lead to a totally different consequences,
and actually, since we made the choice, we just have to accept it cause it's too late for regrets.
i love eds!
i heart eds!
first time i am so into a cca!
i heartedsiheartedsiheartedsiheartedsiheartedsiheartedsiheartedsihearteds
See I typed everything not copy and paste horh.
cause IHEARTEDS!
YAY!

Posted by The other Eden at 10:45 PM

Reset

Reset.
It's time to reset.
Change.
Before regrets sink in
and
Haunt you
like never before,
because
there's still time,
to do so,
if i could, i would,
i would change many things,
many incidents' outcomes,
but,
unfortunately,
fate has in stored for us,
certain fates we can never predict and never escape from,
it will only haunt us,
and serve as a reminder,
so if i could, i would,
but time does not wait for man,
it waits for no one,
nobody,
at no time,
so instead of rueing at the lost ones,
why not cherish the found ones??
because the lost ones
only serve as reminders,
as lessons,
as guides,
to not repeat them,
salvage what you can,
let go of what,
you can't,
it's for the better good,
cause
you can't have the best of both worlds,
so
just reset.

Posted by The other Eden at 10:40 PM

Friday, April 30, 2010

It's so hard to be a hero

"It's what I call complicated"
It's so hard to be a hero,
so hard to be appreciated.
Why,
when I am always trying my best to be the best I can after that freaking incident last year,
this still happens?
I am constantly reflecting.
Trying to be the best I can.
To be matured, sensitive and just good enough for you guys.
But, end up,
it's just so hard to be a hero.
Try as hard as you can, but the result is still the same.
Why must you all treat me like this?
I had enough of last year.
I really had enough.
I been lying to myself all these while.
I hadn't totally got over it.
And now,
this has to happen.
Just what went freaking wrong?
What went haywire?
What?
Tell me.
I've been hiding my emotions for the longest of time.
Whenever I am frustrated, impatient or unhappy, I always put on a mask. a happy mask. Why? Because you people hate emo people. You people just don't care about me whenever I am unhappy. I feel so left out. I finally understand how those 2 felt. Because your world just didn't exist with us in there. I really feel like leaving all these troubles behind and just relax.
What happened in the beginning was an illusion. A sea of illusion. It was deceiving, and did indeed, with its aim, fool me. What's the meaning of this? Life will never go so smoothly. Life can never be a happy one. Life is just so upsetting. Life will never, even with successes, even with the ups in life, be a nice one. Such is the fate of human. I don't even think humanity exists in this world. The only good souls who really care all so damn dead, except for a few. I am always reminscing. I miss my grannies. I still haven't gotten over them okay. That's why, everyday is a living hell for me.
The feeling of being accused, the feeling of trouble and loneliness are all something nobody can understand. Because it is just so hard to express them face to face. Because there are just somethings you prefer to keep it to yourself. Because somethings are just like that.
I originally thought Dunman would mean a new life. But, how wrong was it. Life in Dunman sucks. Sucks totally. It's just so hard to be a hero. So hard to fit in. so hard to conform to expectations. So hard to be. A hero.
Life's deceiving.
Nobody really cares.
Why is it so hard to be a human?
I miss my old life.
Perhaps all these wouldn't have happened if not for last year. Perhaps I should have just kept to myself. Then you guys can go out there and be happy. Without me. Cause it's just so hard to be sensitive and be understanding. I hate you freaking incident last year. Cause you caused so much stress and torment. It's freaking affecting me like shit. And now, this has to happen.
So what's the use of life you tell me?

Posted by The other Eden at 2:13 PM

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Upset

I really am upset.
Just that I don't show it out.
Because nobody likes emo people.
But then,
is it really fair?
Fair to let emo people not be able to express their feelings?
I hate life.

Posted by The other Eden at 6:23 PM

If I could, I would

If I could, I would.
Today, I suddenly realised how some memories are so hard to delete.
Today, I felt terribly upset.
Today, my life is in shambles.
Today, I feel lonely.
Today, it feels as if I am going through life alone.
Today, I really hate life.
I miss the old days.
I miss gran.
I miss her house.
The warmth.
And everything else.
My life has been a total wreck ever since DHS came into the picture.
Why?
Is it because I am just too sensitive?
Or people just aren't matured enough?
I don't understand how people are like that.
The feeling of being left out is horrendous.
The feeling of not being able to do what you want to do is horrible.
I hate life at the moment.
Whatever I do, people don't seemed to be pleased.
I can't even be myself.
Cause people always have craps to say.
They just aren't matured enough.
Things I did,
I felt it was correct. Initially, people didn't thought so. Then, they did. Why? Why must time go by before they finally understand?
Just when can people start to be more understanding?
Just when can I truly find a good life in DHS?
Some memories, I thought I have given them all up.
But then when things like these occur again, my mind gets jerked to conscious. Then, I realised I haven't entirely given up nor forgotten. But then, some things are just like that. Suddenly, the memories are all kind of deleted. The picture of thou is no longer there. It feels as if thee does not know thou. It feels like strangers. Like remoteness. And that's when reality sinks in. When you really hate yourself for not giving up. When you should have. So. I shall occupy myself. I want to lead my own life with courage. Without being held back. So maybe I should engage in more CIP. Cause they really make me happy. And make me forget about things for a moment.
I thought my teenage life was gonna be awesome. somehow at times it seems great, but then, now it seems to be in shambles. Now it seems totally wrecked. Why is it so hard for people to understand? Why is the feeling of being left out always there? Why do I have to always do things to please others? Man, I am not living my life.

Posted by The other Eden at 6:12 PM